Disorientation

Two nights in a row I have woken up, in the middle of the night, feeling disoriented. I had no idea what was going on or even where I was for quite a few minutes. It was not a feeling I liked very much, and yet I kind of did... I don't know how to explain it. I think, maybe, it's a little like what other people feel when they get high? It's like you're so out of control and lost. It doesn't sound like a good feeling, and at the time it was a bit scary, but thinking back on it makes me kind of want to feel it again. Somehow it's like a comfort...

I have also been feeling sick the past couple of days. I haven't been sick in probably a year. It's not bad, I just have some sinus headaches and a sore throat, but I'm so scared right now that it's something else in disguise. When Brittany Murphy died, she had been feeling sick for a few days before she had a heart attack in the shower. Also, I know that women's heart problems show differently than men's. When a woman is having a heart attack it usually feels more like stomach problems and she may not even know that she is having one. As I am writing this I am sort of freaking out a little because I really don't feel right. My head feels off and my heart rate is definitely up. I'm scared.